So, now that the Supremes have sung their refrain on gay marriage, now what??? During the next 30 days before the ruling is active, all the county registrars will be hustling to create new forms, train up their staff, and get ready for the onslaught of same-sex couples. In the meantime, Chief Justice George, a Republican (let me say that again!) a Republican!!! will be taking the heat from all the far-right sides about this momentous decision. He has been quoted that this was one of the toughest rulings he’s ever had to make in his career. (Read the article.)
I’m a pragmatist. The only thing I want to know is “How do I actually get our license and fast!?” I wish it were as easy as going down to city hall, it’s actually a Los Angeles County thing, so a couple has to go to an assigned county registrar office to obtain a marriage license. For those of us in the greater Los Angeles County area, our choices are: Beverly Hills, Van Nuys, Lancaster, Compton, East LA, and Norwalk. Sucks for us living in San Gabriel. Let’s see, shall we cross the Valley or brave the 5 or the 405 freeway in daytime traffic????? Hmmmm…maybe I’ll just stick pins in my eyeballs.
Nevertheless, sitting in freeway traffic to get our marriage license will be well worth it.
So, here are just some things to know about getting a license in Los Angeles County. For more detailed information go to the LA County registrar’s office website at http://www.lavote.net/clerk/marriages.cfm
1. Both spouses must be present to sign the application.
2. Both spouses must provide PROOF of IDENTITY by way of driver’s license, passport, or alien ID card. And all documents must be in English.
3. You DON’T need a blood test or a health certificate to get a license in CA.
4. You DON’t need to be a citizen of the US or a resident of CA to obtain a marriage license in CA.
5. The license fee is $70 payable by cash, check or money order.
Oh yeah, licenses can be obtained if you show up at the office at least 1 hour before the registrar’s office closes. So no last minute quickies, boys and girls.
But getting a marriage license isn’t everything….Weddings and licenses are all the talk right now. The wedding business are going to have a mini-gold rush with all the gay weddings that are going to happen between now and November. For those of you who haven’t been together for a million years waiting for this miracle to happen, for those young ‘uns who will be true newlyweds, I’d like to share this with you, courtesy of that great swami, Oprah. She recently featured the 20 questions one should ask BEFORE tying the proverbial knot.
I wouldn’t stake my relationship on this questionnaire, but it does make a good conversation starter, yeah? If you really want to get down and dirty and find out about who or what type of person would be best matched to you, I’d sit down for the hour that it takes to fill out the personality profile at eharmony.com. It’s free, and even though eharmony doesn’t match for gay couples, it’s uncannily accurate in developing your profile and spitting out the profile of the person with whom you would be most compatible. (But that’s another whole blog entry, which I’ll get to later.)
Question 1: What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?
Question 2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?
Question 3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
Question 4: What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means and through what efforts?
Question 5: What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend?
Question 6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?
Question 7: If one of us doesn’t want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?
Question 8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other’s level of ambition?
Question 9: Am I comfortable giving and receiving love sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?
Question 10: Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched? A little? A lot? For a night? A week? A month? A year? More?
Question 11: Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?
Question 12: Is each of us happy with the other’s approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?
Question 13: What place does the other’s family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often?
Question 14: If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?
Question 15: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?
Question 16: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?
Question 17: Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially and need to cut back on such commitments?
Question 18: What are my partner’s needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?
Question 19: Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?
Question 20: Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other’s choices?
So good luck folks. Book the location, the caterer, and the officiate of your choice because it’s going to be a really busy summer. Look up the rules and regs in the county of your choice and get that license.
